Marriage Interview
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: Weiss is called home for a marriage interview with an unlikely suitor…


**RWBY**

_**Marriage Interview**_

_Written from the perspective of Weiss Schnee_

**Summary : **_Weiss is called home for a marriage interview with an unlikely suitor…_

**Thanks to :**_chonotimeguard (so true.), thedeathbacon (we'll sink it.), The Flippant Warrior, AnimeGirl 144, MrPenguinINC (Bro-Fist!), ScurvyNave, and narutofan876 (I don't know who you are but you're cool). It's okay guys. __This is something I just wrote right now for you guys. _We can build the S.S. WeissJaune and keep this boat a floatin'. 

_;_;7_

_Well, on to the fic._

* * *

Tradition requires I not know who is my suitor until I meet them personally.

As it so often happens with members of the elite, I, Weiss Schnee, was called home for family business. Schnee Company secretaries handled all the paperwork for a temporary leave absence from Beacon while I attended an important function: _a marriage interview_.

Maids scrubbed me clean and fixed my hair and nails. Tied to a neat white bun and fitted into a nice evening dress. The interview was formal and my suitor supposedly of a prestigious bloodline and notable heritage. A direct descendant from a line of great warriors and huntsmen.

I sat in a pleasant tea room within Schnee Castle waiting for my suitor.

When I was little, my mother told me a woman's greatest asset is who she could marry. Right after her… '_actual_' _ass_ets. Yeah… that was an awkward conversation with mom.

But she also told me to keep an open mind during the marriage interviews.

Marriage interviews were a diplomatic weapon. If there were a family the Schnee Company wished to make stronger ties with, the tantalizing potential of marrying a Schnee heiress was enough to smooth over a partnership even with our worst rivals.

My mother explained this to me quite well although she does want me to marry someone I like and be happy.

She and my father would interview the candidate first and then send him to meet me. Afterwards we'd have tea, a light dinner and, if I felt so inclined to offer, a stroll through the Schnee Botanical Gardens just outside the castle.

No one had ever gotten a stroll.

There were the dashing suitors, older men, hailing from merchant clans or start-up companies who had more charm than actual wit. They're the most touchy-feely type and all of them end up frozen in place before a single skin cell of theirs could touch mine. There were the warrior sons, often drunk during the interview itself. They're usually escorted off the premises and blacklisted in all relevant social circles. There was even this one time a girl dressed up as a male to interview me.

That one _almost_ got to take a stroll with me.

But the worst of them were the ones my age. The ones who think a kiss is something you give away freely. The ones who usually end up with their faces pounded in by security and never to be heard from or seen from again.

Father did say we own a private prison up in the north.

A first kiss should mean something. And I pride myself on a pair of clean lips. I think it should be special and be more than brutish lust and affection. Besides, as a Schnee heiress, what's the rush to fall in love?

Unlike a certain sister of mine… _ugh_.

Let's not talk about _her_.

"Excuse me, Miss Schnee?" A timid secretary stood at the doorway of the tea room. She was dressed more formally than usual. "Your parents approve of this suitor, they're ready to send him in to meet you."

I gave a practiced smile.

"Please, send him in."

"Of course, Miss Schnee. Right away-_and oh_! If the suitor is not to your liking, the silent alarm under the table will call in security right away." The secretary bowed. "Good luck," she wished and disappeared.

"Luck? What's luck got to do with anything?"

A few moments later, the door opened.

I nearly threw a tea pot at him.

"Snow Angel?"

"Jaune!? What are you doing here!?"

The buffoon stood at the doorway dressed in a simple suit. His hair greased back and combed. But that didn't change the idiotic look on his face when he came in.

"My parents told me to go talk to some old people and make them like me. Then I'd talk to their daughter and I just have to make sure I didn't vomit on her."

My eye twitched.

"Those '_old people_' are my parents!"

Jaune tilted his head.

"They were? Damn. Your mom is _hot_."

Oh heavens. Ew. Ew. _Ew!_

"I think this interview is over…" I sighed as I readied my finger on the silent alarm.

"W-wait! Hold up!" Jaune rushed to the table and held my hand. "Look, I've got no idea what's going on so you can please explain to me? Why was I talking to your parents and what's this about an interview?" I could feel the sweat on his palms greasing my wrist. "My nerves are getting to me… I'm terrible with interviews!"

I sighed.

"Take a seat, Jaune," I motioned. I'll at least explain to him what a mess he's in. After that was finished, Jaune leaned back into his chair. He was munching on tea snacks the entire time. Irritating habit to be eating while I'm explaining something of utmost importance to him.

"So you're telling me, I'm currently in the running to marry you?"

"Well yes… but Jaune look I'm sorry-"

"And your parents actually approved of me? Of. _Me_?" Jaune began laughing his head off like a gigantic idiot. "Do your parents not have any standards? Oh man, wait until I tell Pyrrha that mama and papa Schnee actually thought I could marry their daugh-"

My hand shot out and dragged him by the collar across the table.

"Nobody. Knows. About this. _Got it_?"

The embarrassment that my parents actually approved Jaune to see me for tea and dinner would… the school would never live it down for the rest of my student life!

"Y-yeah! Got it." Jaune slinked back into his seat and fixed his collar. "So when's dinner? I was promised dinner." Jaune took out his wallet and checked his money. "If there's no dinner, I've got enough Lien for cheeseburger combos at Vytal in a Box if you're interested," Jaune said with a wink.

Repulsive.

"Look, what kind of mind trick did you play on my parents to convince them to let you see me?"

Jaune leaned back into his seat.

"I just said what came to mind?"

That's a dark and terrible place to be talking from.

"Seriously, Jaune. What did you say?" My parents were very selective when it came to choosing which suitors could see me, unless the suitor was involved with a sensitive business deal. But as far as I knew, the Arc family was another old-time warrior drunkards who my father wouldn't hesitate to reject in a second.

"I said what came to mind when they asked their questions. I just gave them honest answers," Jaune admitted. "Actually, come to think of it… they were pretty embarassing." Rubbing the back of his head, Jaune refused to look me in the eye.

Idiot.

"Fine, whatever." I clapped my hands and asked for dinner to be served.

"Food!" Jaune cried as the servants brought in our meal.

After the meal, Jaune sat with his feet propped on the table and picked his teeth with a toothpick. It was so utterly crass I contemplated pressing the security button and having him sent to a work-camp in the far north mining dust if it weren't for the fact my team and Jaune's team would ask far too many questions.

"You full, Weiss?"

I looked at my half-finished plate. It was courteous to not utterly lick your plate clean like some starving animal with boorish table manners.

"Yes, I am."

Jaune reached over and grabbed some food from my plate and ate.

"Hope you don't mind," he said with _my_ food, as in food from _my_ plate, in his mouth. "But that dinner was way too light. It was probably better for girls or something."

I pressed my face into my hands. Please just let it end.

"Come on, let's go get some air," Jaune said he pulled my hand. He ignored my protest and dragged me out of the castle, asking maids for directions to the gardens. "Wow!"

Jaune looked at the splendor of the Schnee Botanical Gardens.

"Amazing isn't it?"

"Yeah," said Jaune full of amazement.

"Shame the walk's over-Hey! Wait up!" Jaune jogged down the pathway before I could tell him the interview was over and he had to leave.

"These steps are great! I'm in these stuffy dress shoes but it feels like I'm running on ice!"

I was in high heels and it felt like I was running on a pair of rickety stilts.

"Wai-wait up!" I huffed and puffed as I lifted my skirt to keep up with me.

He stopped on top of a wooden bridge that crossed over a pond. Standing at the apex of the bridge, he looked to the sky and the fullness of the shattered moon.

"That's one fine moon," Jaune said softly.

I huffed and puffed beside him. "Y-yes. Yes it is…" The cold night air made me shudder. The dress left my shoulders bare and fabric was thin already.

Then I felt something warm over my shoulders.

It was his jacket.

"You look like you're going to freeze to death. Ha! Isn't that kind ironic?" I looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world as I clutched his jacket tighter. "You know… because you're a Snow Angel... and you feel cold… and you freeze to death… ooookay never mind. I'll shut up now."

Good.

The idiot had no tact or manners but at least he knew when to give a lady his jacket when she was clearly cold. So that's a point for Jaune.

"It's fine," I said as I leaned beside him. Our shoulders pressed together. "Just keep shutting yourself up and let's enjoy the moon together."

"Together? Like… a date '_together_'?"

"Don't get your hopes up."

Jaune smiled.

"Okay, as friends."

I rolled my eyes.

"Keep this up and you'll never be my fiance."

"What's a fiance?"

Oh heavens, this love-able idiot.

"It basically means friend."

Jaune rubbed his chin, clearly in thought.

"Say, can I be your fiance?"

I rolled my eyes. I guess I'll play a joke on him.

"Sure why not."

"Ha! So I guess we are friends, huh Snow Angel?" He gave me a soft nudge. He climbed atop the bridge and rails and shouted to the moon, "_You hear that world!? I'm Weiss' fiance!_"

Well, this is going to be hard to explain to my parents later…

"Yeah, we're friends," I laughed at the absurdity of it all. "We're friends, Jaune…"

...for now at least.

* * *

**Marriage Interview Fin**

**Warning : Author's Notes **_contains spoilers up to RWBY Vol. 2, Chapter 3._

**Author's Notes :** _I originally wrote Love Letter because I was frustrated by how badly Jaune got shot down by Weiss in the recent RWBY episode. Nothing wrong with that. Ship-tease is cool. But then they had to insert goddamn Neptune. Are you kidding me? Guy gets shoe-horned in for three chapters and magically flirts with Weiss and beats people at board games... blah!_

_And Neptune is voiced by one of the writers, Kerry Shawcross? Are you joking? That's a clear conflict of interest._

_Pluto is still a planet to me. Neptune should have been demoted to planetoid._

_PLUTO NOW. PLUTO FOREVER._


End file.
